- When we got married, we were excited to sleep together after spending a year dating long distance.
- We found that years of sleeping alone made it challenging to adjust to sleeping with another person.
- After selling everything to travel full time, we now book only Airbnbs with two bedrooms.
For my wife and me, 2021 was a year of change. When our six children left home to start their lives as adults, we decided to spend our empty-nest years traveling full time.
We sold everything. We have no home base or storage locker with all of our stuff. Airbnbs worldwide have become our "home."
When we book Airbnb apartments and homes, the types of places we look for are different from what you'd expect from a married couple. We always book two-bedroom Airbnbs because we sleep in separate rooms. It has created an efficient way for us to live life and grow as a couple as we travel the world.
Comfort is one of our highest values as a couple
Before we got married, my wife and I dated long distance. I lived in Milwaukee, and she lived in central Florida. There were many weekend trips and weeklong stays back and forth.
Shortly after we got married, we started living together and initially slept in the same room. It didn't take long to realize we'd developed some personal sleeping preferences and habits.
My wife switches positions frequently while sleeping. I'm a snorer, but that's probably an understatement. My snoring can tear down houses and scare small children — it's that loud.
We prefer to go to bed and wake up at different times
We own a successful online education business that doesn't offer client services. We don't have client meetings or anything that we have to wake up for, so we have a flexible schedule.
My wife is a night owl and wakes later in the morning. I prefer to go to bed earlier and love waking up between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. Getting up and out of bed earlier used to wake my wife up before she wanted to be awake.
Sleeping in the same room was not a comfortable situation for us. We started talking about what made sense since freedom and comfort were important values for each of us.
We have open and healthy communication in our relationship
Talking about and testing out sleeping in separate bedrooms wasn't an easy place to get to mentally as a married couple. Societal programming was deeply ingrained in our minds.
We agreed to communicate openly and authentically in our relationship from day one. When we talked about our challenges with sleeping in the same room, we were honest that we were not getting the sleep we needed.
We started sleeping in separate bedrooms and almost instantly slept and felt better. It allowed us to stretch out in our beds and feel freer to sleep in the ways we wanted to, and it even made us miss each other. Also, my snoring no longer affected anyone but me.
We continued to sleep apart after selling everything to travel full time. We choose to book Airbnbs over hotels because it gives us the flexibility to search for two-bedroom places at a lower cost. As much as we travel, booking two hotel rooms would be costly.
We have a healthy marriage, romantic partnership, and great sex life
We may sleep in separate bedrooms, but we have a great sex life. What has helped us grow closer is prioritizing physical touch and flirting during the day. Since we're empty nesters, we can be physical all the time as there are no children in the house. We come into the evening ravenous for each other.
Also, we both regularly have therapy and life coaching. The mindset work has helped us realize that we can have it all — good sleep apart while building a healthy relationship. We don't let the opinions of others or societal expectations dictate the decisions we make.
We get to miss each other despite being always together and get the sleep we need in a comfortable way for our individual preferences. We make an effort every day to be affectionate and communicate openly.
We wouldn't have it any other way.